Unfortunately there is no way to
keep this submission short, so much has happened.
Both the above mentioned bodies have systematically,
totally destroyed any semblance of life my husband
and I once enjoyed both personally and financially,
and the lives of our family. We no longer live in
what used to be a normal home.
In December 1996 I discovered my husband in
disgusting condition, filthy, drunk and doubly
incontinent. He had an office furniture business in
Sydney, in (silent ) partnership with his ex wife
(Norma Furner). His home is here
in Hervey Bay, Queensland and has been
since 1983. Rather than give up a profitable business
we decided that it would be better to keep the Sydney
business operating and commute back and forth at
regular intervals.
We both travelled back and forth whenever the mood
took us and prior to 1995, as I said, it was a
regular occurrence. In May 1995 I started a Charter
Fishing business here in Hervey Bay. My husband,
being 27 years older than I, was concerned for my
future, should he die. He didn’t want me to have
to ‘eat into’ any funds inherited from his
share of the Sydney business and thought if I could
have a business established in the next couple of
years, then I could look forward to a comfortable
future.
Because of the nature of the new business I was
unable to go to Sydney as regularly as before. He had
also fired the Manager of his business, so he was
operating alone and this curtailed his trips.
However I did get to Sydney in November 1995 for 2
weeks and in hindsight, perhaps I should have seen
the ‘signs’, the early stages of dementia.
We promised to keep in touch by phone, since neither
of us could get away, until he decided what to do
about the Sydney business.
Phone contact was regular until mid August 1996. He
used to take the phone off the hook at night because
he was being harassed constantly by a daughter from a
previous marriage, whom he hadn’t seen for over
20 years, hounding him for money. I managed to talk
to him a couple of times during the day but did not
sense anything was wrong. By October 1996, I had lost
touch altogether but could do nothing about visiting,
because of the business commitments here in Hervey
Bay, until early December 1996.
I rang the ex Manager at the end of November ‘96
to find out if he knew where my husband was and why I
wasn’t able to contact him. He blasted me over
the phone with “He’s got dementia
!” He hadn’t bothered
to contact me because he said my husband didn’t
want me to know! Neither did he contact the business
partner, Mrs Norma Furner to advise the business was
in serious trouble.
To cut a long story short I immediately went to
Sydney with the intention of bringing my husband
home. However when I saw him he had deteriorated to
such an extent that he needed medical help first. He
would not come home with me. The alcohol was making
him aggressive. I could not force him into the car
even to take him to the hospital. So I attempted to
enlist the aid of his local doctor. Actually, his
doctor was on leave and his doctor’s partner,
instead of helping me gave me a list of Government
Departments to contact.
Many days later I was down to the last department on
the list, the Guardianship Board of NSW. Yes,
they’d be delighted to help me but first I must
fill in some forms! I explained that all I
wanted was some assistance in getting my husband into
hospital, dried out, and taken care of medically with
the end goal of taking him home to Hervey Bay.
While I was at their Balmain Office collecting the
‘form’ the woman there handed me another
‘form’ which she told me to complete as
well, an application for Financial Control, since, as
she said, until my husband had been
treated I would have no idea if he would still be
able to handle our finances himself.
I was so relieved that he would finally be getting
the help he desperately needed that I filled out both
forms and forwarded them to the Guardianship Board. My
first mistake, gullibility in a time of
panic! By this time I had been in Sydney nearly 2
weeks and had to get back to Hervey Bay, because I
was running out of money and I also had to see to my
business.
My husband had survived for the past few months, with
the dubious assistance of a neighbouring business
owner (this is another story). So, I had to leave,
but felt confident that at least he’d be in
hospital within a couple of days, a week at the most.